


Days in the Life of a Brainbot

by FantasyBard



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-03 01:47:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14558187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasyBard/pseuds/FantasyBard
Summary: It's not normal seeing a robot telling the story, especially a seemingly mass produced robot such as myself. It's normally the hero of the piece who gets the spotlight, or the damsel in distress, or, even occasionally, the sidekick.Thing is, there's a lot ore to us trainings than meets the eye. We see a lot ore than people give us credit for. And if it hadn't been for us, Megamind's story could have ended very differently.So, this story you probably know, you just haven't experienced from our point of view. Or mine, brainbot 147.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I have always had a special love for Megamind. The story of this goofy, loveaable alien mastermind. But Megamind couldn’t have gotten where he did without the help of the Brainbots who are always hovering in the background. This is just an exploration of what they might have been going through their sparking domes throughout Megamind’s journey from hero to villain. I hope you enjoy.

One:

My name is #147. I know, catchy name, right? You might think that since my name being a mere number, it may not mean all that much. But it's the only name I've ever known. And to be perfectly accurate, though it may be a number, it does actually mean something. I was the 147th brainbot made by Master. It may not seem like much, but I've become somewhat attached to it.

Anyway, it's not normal to see a robot telling the story, especially a seemingly mass-produced robot such as myself. It's normally the hero of the piece who gets the spotlight, or the villain, or the damsel in distress, or occasionally, the side-kick.

Thing is, there's a lot more to being a brain bot than might at first appear. Yeah, there are a lot of us, and yeah, we do all kind of look alike. And maybe no one could tell us apart on first, second, or even third glance. But, among us brainbots, we're as different as anyone else.

We may have started out that way, but according to 1, Master got bored one day with just remaking the same robot over and over and created personality subroutines. He only created a certain number at first, but the more of us he created, the more the subroutines began to mutate and the more variety began to grow out of them. Now, we're all pretty much unique. Some of us are better at certain things then others, and some of us, well, some of us never really learn at all.

We're not exactly human. Minion is closer to that then us, but still, 1 has always said that we're the closest thing to family our Master had ever had.

Everyone knows my Master, of course: Megamind, Incredibly Handsome Criminal Genius and Master of All Villainy (until recently, but I'll get to that in a minute). For years, he used us as weapons, spies, distractions, mechanics and about a hundred different other things in his battles against his arch-nemesis, Metro Man, Defender of Metro City.

It's actually not bad having a Master like Megamind. Sure, there are the minor inconveniences of being blown to bits or melted by Metro Man's laser vision. But, I doubt that anyone else would care enough about us brainbots to even bother bringing us back. Megamind, though, he's recreated each and every one of us every time we have been destroyed. I, myself, have been blown up twice, melted four times, smashed by a car and crushed by a slab of concrete. But, I'm always brought back. The body might be different, but the memories and my personality are always the same.

It's a good life. Megamind and Minion are always there looking out for us, there's always a spare tool or two to play with, or a game of tag to join in, along with the occasional in-depth discussion of how our badly our Master will fail in his next scheme and just the chance to sit back and watch life play out. And when your creator is a master genius engaged in a never-ending struggle for supremacy with a superhero, it means there's never a dull moment.

To sum up, we see a lot more than perhaps a lot of people give us credit for. And if it hadn't been for us, Megamind's story could have ended very differently.

So, this is the story that probably you know, but told from a different point of view: me, Brain bot 147.


	2. Two

Two:

It all began with the ending, which was also a beginning. That's a little confusing, isn't it? Let me see if I explain it better. See, Megamind and Metro Man had been battling it out for years. We brain bots were oftentimes at the forefront of Master's schemes, and I can modestly say if not for us, all of Megamind's plans would have ended up as failures. Well, okay, they were all pretty much failures; Then again, if not for us, they would have been catastrophes. If there's anything this whole experience has taught me, it's that there is a difference between those two ideas. Catastrophe is basically no holds barred destruction and humiliation, but failure means you can pick yourself up and try again.

And these battles had been going on for so long, it just seemed like they would never end. But when Megamind actually managed to defeat Metro Man, that turned out to be as close to catastrophe as Master would ever come.

Anyway, it all started on a seemingly typical day. Megamind had been in prison for a couple of weeks. Nearly all of his encounters with Metro Man ended with him getting carted off to prison. So, that meant that he would probably be escaping any day. That was the order we had gotten used too.

When I woke up, a few of the brain bots were already up and floating around. I waited for a few minutes, shaking the early morning sparks out of my glass-domed head (it's not technically glass, actually. That would be easy to break, but glass is easy to comprehend then diabonic, crystalline, electro-magnetic computer shell. Not to mention a lot easier to say). I then floated out into the Evil Lair's vast main room. The Lair was the place where Megamind lived and created all of his dastardly machines of mayhem and plots of destruction. It was an old abandoned warehouse along the docks. It was cluttered with machines, tools and pieces of paper hung with multiple strands of thread from the ceiling. Also, there were a lot of TV monitors. Even with Megamind now gone, they were all pretty active. All the brain bots had their favorite shows, and before Megamind started making spare remotes and TV sets for us all, the constant squabbles for the remote could get a little hairy.

A few of the brain bots and I exchanged the normal morning greetings as we passed each other, some of them engaged in their early morning routines. 457, 89, and 13 were all chewing on various rubber tubes (they said they preferred the texture of rubber to the metal of the tools for come reason), 24 and 67 were engaged in an early morning game of chess, the set most likely having been stolen at some point during one of Megamind's escapades.

I floated up to the TV monitors that were hung from western ceiling. There was only one brain bot hovering near these particular screens, clutching the remote in his tendril-like clawed hand. It was 238, and he was flipping randomly through the channels. "Morning, 238."

"Hey, 147."

"Anything good on?"

"There's supposed to be a six-hour special on the construction of the Metro Man Museum somewhere on these channels, but I can't find it anywhere."

238 had somehow developed an interest in architecture during his lifetime. It was beyond me how that trait managed to sneak into the cross-sectioning of his nano-wires. I think it has something to do with the fact that he's one of the most mathematical of the brain bots, and Megamind always uses him when working out the best way to constructing the more intricate parts of his inventions.

While I was normally willing to listen to what he had to say about architecture, he had lost me with the name of Metro Man. "Six hours?" I questioned, "Just for the construction of a museum dedicated to that flying tube of toothpaste? Honestly, can't the people of Metro City find something that doesn't have to do with him for one second?"

"Good luck trying to get that idea across, 147. I'm not interested for the sake of Metro Man, but seriously, the blue prints of that place are awesome. I wish I could see the inside it, just for the sake of looking at it closely."

"Too bad the only view you'll be getting is from the outside." said the voice of another brain bot that came hovering over to join us, "You know how the denizens of the city react when they see one of us, they figure Megamind can't be far behind and they start panicking."

It was 56, one of those brain bots who seems to have inherited a lot of our creators' personal idiosyncrasies. That's been both a blessing and a curse. 56 is my best friend, but that still doesn't change the fact that he can get me so worked up it feels like my wiring is about to go up in smoke.

"Only fitting, considering we are the servants of a super villain." I said.

"Of course, that doesn't stop some of us from pushing the boundaries, a little." said 56, in the old voice I knew very well; he was angling for a confrontation.

Since I was feeling in a giving mood that morning, I decided to play along. I knew perfectly well what 56 was referring too, but that didn't mean I had to let onto it right away. "I don't have any idea what you're talking about, 56."

"Only that someone sneaked into the Metro City Museum of Art a few months ago when they had the exhibition of Metro Man paintings. Honestly, I thought that you had better taste than that, 147."

"Well, it just so happens that the touring exhibit of the Monet's was there at the same time, 56." I said, sweetly, "I went to look at those. You honestly think I would waste my time looking at a painting of Metro Man that supposedly could have painted from the point of view of Picasso? I got a view of that online for two seconds and I still get nightmares about it."

That seemed to throw 56 for a moment, but not for long. "Well, it still doesn't change the fact that you broke the rules."

"Last time I checked, you weren't exactly an expert on following the rules. I'm not the one who sometimes tries to go over to Metro Stadium to catch a random baseball game."

"How did you know I did that?"

"I didn't actually, I just suspected it pretty strongly, and you've just confirmed it."

"I haven't confirmed anything, or denied anything." said 56, in the voice that sounded for the entire world like a copy of our Master. Don't ever say the creation never resembled the Master even a little. "Besides, what are you going to do about it?"

"Oh, I was thinking maybe this." I zipped forward and whacked him on his head. He reeled back a few feet and then seemed to recover his equilibrium and came at me, ramming me with his body.

That seemed to take care of it. 56 and I began to chase each other around and around the Evil Lair, calling out insults to each other along the way. It was a normal sight to see the two of us having chases like this, though whether it was from mere fun or some sort of argument we had before, was always changing.

On our third lap around the room, some of the brain bots started noticing the show and began cheering one or the other of us on. At this point, it became less of a serious chase and more of a game for the benefit of getting attention. We were pretty evenly matched when it came to speed and these chases always turned into something of a spectacle.

On our sixth time around the Lair, the door suddenly opened and in came another brain bot and a creature that was somewhat bizarre at first appearance. He had a large robotic body that resembled a saggy gorilla. But his head was a bowl filled with water. Inside the water was a fish. This was Minion, Megamind's right hand man, well, fish, I suppose. He had known our Master before any of us were even a glimmer in his creative mind. The two were practically inseparable, which was actually a good thing. Considering the number of failures Megamind had gone through and how many times he had wound up in jail, he needed someone to watch his back.

Also, from what I've observed of the world, it's a better gig being the side-kick to the villain then it is to be one for the hero. Side-kicks to heroes always get the blame for the mistakes that are made; side-kicks to the villains always mange to avoid that fate.

Minion was a great favorite with the brain bots. If not for him when Megamind is in jail, we wouldn't know what to do with ourselves. Of course, even he can sometimes have trouble controlling us.

56 immediately made a beeline for Minion and, of course, I gave chase. Minion hadn't seen us, and he had just said in his usually cheerful and sunny voice, "Good morning, brain bots. Gather around. I have-"

He didn't get any further, because 56 ducked around and behind him, using the bulk of Minion's body as a shield between him and me.

"Come out, you miserable bucket of bolts!" I snapped, as I angled crazily, trying to catch him unawares, but every move I made he did the opposite behind Minion, meaning that poor Minion was literally turning around in circles trying to keep up with us.

"Ha! You're one to talk." shot back 56, "You can barely hold together. You might as well be made of plastic."

"Let me get my teeth around one of your tendrils and we'll see whose made of plastic, and cheap plastic at that."

"Oh, I'm shaking right down to my nerons. Come on, 147, you bite like a programmed member of the female sex."

"I _am_ a programmed member of the female sex, Dipstick, and you'll soon see that's nothing to laugh at."

"All right, you two, that's enough." 1's stern voice brought an end to our game of wits. "56, come out from behind Minion, and the two of you stop fighting. We have more important things to speak of."

If Megamind could be called out father (and we always have considered him to be our daddy), than 1 would win the prize for our mother. She was the first brain bot that Megamind ever created, so she's been around longer than any of us. She's been destroyed more than any of us, which makes her wiser than any other brain bot. She's the voice of experience, so we differ to her judgment in almost everything.

Thus, when we heard her voice, 56 and I sulkily fell in line.

Minion tut-tutted and shook his head like a reproving nurse, "147 and 56, I might have known it would be you two trying to cause trouble on a day like this. Still, no harm done, as usual. Now, tell each other you're sorry and let's leave it all behind us."

"But she started it."

"But he started it." We both whined at pretty much the same moment.

"I don't care who started it." said 1, "Make up and be friends again. I know it's not hard for you."

A moment of silence before 56 said, "All right, I'm sorry."

"I guess I'm sorry too." I replied.

Our electronic chirps, however sullen they might have been, were enough to reassure Minion. "Wonderful, we're all back in harmony again. Now, come on, brain bots, over here. I have some important things to tell you."

1 made a motion that looked like an exasperated mother shaking her head, but there was an undertone of affection in her voice. "Double trouble, that's what you two are. One of you is just as bad as the other. I don't know which is worse, the two of you separate or the two of you together." She floated over to where the other brain bots were starting to gather around Minion.

"Was that a dig?" I asked, as 56 and I followed at a distance.

"Probably, we do kind of have something of a reputation for getting into trouble."

"True, I guess. And I suppose we could get into a long argument about who's caused more trouble, but I think we have more important things to worry about."

"Yeah, let's worry about breaking Daddy out of jail first, and then we can argue."

"I'll make a note of that."

We fell into line along with the rest of the brain bots, who had gathered around Minion by this time. We were all blinking and sparking excitedly. We sensed that something was about to happen which would bring about a change in our daily lives.

"Brain bots, I have good news. Daddy is going to be escaping from jail today."

A chorus of excited, electronic barking greeted this announcement. It's not that we brain bots every worried about him getting out. More that when he was getting out, he had at least least two or three diabolical plans in the works, which meant there would be no end of things to do for us brain bots, as well as a front row seat to the colossal battles which he would be undertaking with Metro Man.

"Special thanks goes to brain bot 238 for this rescue." Minion continued, "He was the one who fine-tuned the holowatch which will aid in the escape today."

A round of appreciative electronic beeps greeted this announcement. 238 ducked his head modestly. "Oh, it was nothing, really."

I nudged him playfully. "You know, you are really are to humble, sometimes. Master knows how great you are with such things. I doubt anyone else could have repaired that watch so fast and made it look classy at the same time."

"Actually, I had some help with that from 125."

"125? The one who's in charge of making all the machines look dashingly evil enough?"

238 didn't answer me. I noticed that his eye stalk had shifted and was staring dreamily at 125, who was hovering slightly to the right and upward of where we were. 125 noticed that he was looking her way and waved at him cheerfully. "Hi, 238, watch for me, later. I'm going to be part of the grand entrance."

"You bet, 512, er, uh, I mean 125. I'll be watching. You can count on me."

"Oh, I didn't realize that you two were a thing." I said

"She's so perfect." said 238, who evidently hadn't heard me, "The way she moves, the way she works on the finer points of the machines, the way the sun and moon lights up her dome…"

Knowing that I wouldn't be getting anything coherent out of 238 for awhile, I turned my full attention back to what Minion was saying. "Now, we obviously have a lot to get through today. Is everything ready for the death ray?" Affirmative chirps answered this. "The trap at the old abandoned observatory?" More chirps. "Wonderful. You're all good brain bots and I'm sure daddy will be very pleased with you all."

We all felt rather pleased with ourselves, too. We had the best daddy and master in the world. "Now, you all know you're places. One last assignment, 56," 56 eagerly hovered over to him, "I need you to locate Roxanne Ritchie and transmit the coordinates to me. Try to be discreet about it. Master has an especially evil entrance planned for later today. He doesn't want anything to spoil it."

"Will do." said 56, even if Minion didn't exactly understand what he was saying, and he hovered off.

For the rest of us, it seemed like it was going to be a very exciting morning in our lives as brain bots to Megamind. It would be exciting all right, way more than even we could have imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope that you enjoy this beginning of an epic journey. Please read and review.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 147 and the brain bots eagerly await the arrival of their creator, and the beginning of a new conflict between Megamind and Metro Man. However, in having a front row seat to these battles, they all pretty much know how everything is meant to go, especially the stranger than usual banter between Megamind, and the not at all damsel in distress, Roxanne Ritchi.

Two:

A few hours after, we brain bots were in a tizzy of excitement. We could sense that show time was fast approaching. Once Minion left in the invisible car to pick up Master, we brain bots set about taking care of the last minute details for Megamind's plan.

A group of brain bots were already off and away somewhere in Metro City, in disguise, of course. They were all part of Megamind's grand entrance. Presentation was an incredibly important to Megamind. No self-respecting villain could call himself even remotely evil if he didn't have it. I had to admit, that was one thing that Megamind always managed to succeed at.

238 had retreated back to the television monitors, making good on his promise to not even risk missing 125's role in this latest escapade. It suddenly all made sense why he had been going around with those few extra sparks in his dome and why 125 was taking extra care with keeping the rust off her tendrils. Yes, we brain bots do have feelings which correspond to love. It's slightly different from the way humans experience it, but the basic concept of being devoted to someone is still the same. It was something I had honestly never experienced or even really thought of, but I suppose that if it could happen to 238 or 125, it might happen to me one day.

However, there were more important things to worry about. By this time, the TV monitors were buzzing with all the various stations covering the grand opening of the Metro Man Museum. One particular channel was playing more than the rest, KCMP Channel 8 news. It was a favorite with Master; he seemed to be watching the news program on that channel quite a lot late. None of us brain bots were sure why he choose that particular station when he could have gotten minute details on his exploits on any other channel.

We weren't complaining, though. We had started to enjoy that channel more than the others as well. Our favorite reporter, Roxanne Ritchi, was on that channel. We liked her, not just because Master was always kidnapping her. Secretly, all of the brain bots liked it when Roxanne was kidnapped; it was our favorite part of him being the villain. She was always a lot of fun to have around, which was a little ironic. If she was always being kidnapped, she should have a permanent case of nerves.

But she had quickly come to understand in the course of the game between hero and villain that Master wouldn't hurt her. Now, it was mostly just fun watching the amusing back and forth between Master and Roxanne. Besides Minion, she was the only one who really was a match for Megamind. Their witty sallies were often more fun than the ones he had with Metro Man.

We finally managed to find a report with Roxanne. She had really dressed up for the occasion, almost as if she _expected_ to be kidnapped.

"Happy Metro Man Day, Metro City. It's a beautiful day here in beautiful down town, where we're here to honor a beautiful man, Metro Man. His heart is an ocean inside of a bigger ocean. For years, he's been watching out for us with his super sight, protecting us with his super strength and caring for us with his super heart, now it's our turn to give something back. This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting live from the grand opening of the Metro Man Museum."

The station went to a commercial. 32, a brain bot who been passing by while they were watching the report, said, "Ugh, some of the things they say about Metro Man, if I had a stomach, I would be retching right now."

"Hey," I said, "cut the poor girl some slack. It's not like she has a lot of actual original materiel to work with. Metro Man is only inspiring up to a point, and that is a very small margin."

"Yeah, it's not her fault that she gets stuck with all the Metro Man stories. They probably think that just because she gets kidnapped and rescued all the time, she had some sort of inside access to the whole story." said 238, "She's probably just as bored as anyone else with the whole process."

32 sniffed and floated off. We watched her go. "There's not a sentimental nano in that girl's body, is there?" I commented.

238 shook his head, before he looked up and said, "Oh, look 56 is back."

Indeed, 56 had just come floating back into the Evil Lair, looking rather pleased with himself. "Hey there, guys." He said, "Roxanne Ritchi will not be reporting live from anywhere for awhile. Unless it's going to be from Master's Lair..."

"Yes, yes, in the grip of one of his evil plans of death." I finished, "Come on, 56, we all know that Daddy won't hurt Roxanne."

"Of course, we all know that, but we can't have anyone else thinking that." said 56, "We have to keep up with the premise that Daddy is a black-hearted villain."

"A good first step towards maintaining that image might be to not call him Daddy on the morning of a major diabolical plan." said 238, "The assumption of a parental figure title will kind of tarnish the whole black-hearted villain thing."

"Look, does it really matter?" I asked, "We all know how this is going to end, Megamind and Metro Man will bash it out, there will be a whole bunch of pyrotechnics, fireworks and explosions, where no one really gets hurt-"

"Except for the occasional witty sally that hits homes." put in 56.

"Yes, except for that. But, Megamind will lose and will either escape or be carted off to jail by Metro Man, he'll escape and we'll go through this all again. It's the order of the universe and the circle of life."

"Still, we brain bots have to play our role." said 56, "When do you think that he'll get here?"

"Well, when we factor in that Roxanne was reporting from downtown at the Metro Man Museum and that he'll then be going to the prison, and then he'll come back here, and factor in traffic, speed on the invisible car and road conditions," said 238, clicking and factoring away as he did whenever he got in a mathematical mood, "And considering the road to tire traffic conditions and-"

"238," said 56, "I am sure that this is fascinating, but could you skip the math book portion and go right to the answer."

22 minutes, 36 seconds."

"How do you do that?" I asked.

"I just do." said 238.

Exactly 22 minutes and 36 seconds later, there was a great chorus of excited barking and a crowd of brain bots rushed into the main Lair. They were of the younger crowd, either created more recently than any of us, or not having been destroyed as many times. For brain bots, being destroyed and reborn into different bodies actually facilitates growth in our personalities. Of course, some of us are still are more brawn then brain and never learn, no matter what happens. They were more easily excited and distracted. But, the news they had caused all of us to revert back to something like first activation.

"Hey, everyone, he's back, he's back, Daddy's back!" chorused a dozen different voices at once.

Excitement rippled through us all and we immediately left whatever we were doing and began to gather. A moment later, the doors to the lair opened and there was a loud roar of engines and the invisible car zoomed in to the Evil Lair. It pulled to a stop and out stepped the alien who had created all of us, none other then Megamind himself.

He was still dressed in the orange prison outfit which 125 had often commented clashed horribly with his blue skin. It wasn't just for the sake of his sinister image that he always wore black.

"Oh, I tell you, Minion," He was speaking to his friend as he looked around the Lair fondly, "There's no place like Evil Lair."

Minion was carrying Roxanne Ritchi slung over his shoulder (unconscious and bound). "I've kept the Lair dark and damp, just for you, sir."

Megamind stepped out from behind a screen, now attired in properly evil black leather, spikes and cape. "How do I look, Minion? Do I look evil?"

"Disgustingly horrifying, sir." complemented Minion, helpfully.

"You always know what to say."

Now that he was properly dressed, we brain bots came swarming around Megamind, chirping and barking electronically, while our domes were sparking excitedly. "Oh, the brain bots missed you, sir." Said Minion.

Megamind's face lit up with an almost childlike excitement and he got right up close to all of the brain bots. "Did you miss daddy?" We all chirped and bounced up and down excitedly. Megamind was the opposite of a super villain when he was with us, and more like the doting and proud parent. He was obviously happy to see each and every one of us again, even while playfully admonishing the more dim-witted of our number to not bite. If only those who were afraid of Megamind could have seen him at that moment, they would have perhaps seen that they had nothing to be afraid of.

One of the brain bots had a wrench clutched in his mouth, which he dropped in Megamind's hand. "You want the wrench? Huh, you want it?" Megamind threw the wrench. "Get the wrench!"

"Wrench, wrench, wrench." repeated the brain bots who were obsessed with playing games of fetch in their off hours and immediately sped off after it.

With another fond look in their direction, Megamind and Minion then went back to their nefarious plotting, which at this stage involved large amounts of evil laughter. According to 1, Megamind had practiced on his evil laughter early in his career, just so he could get it the right level of terrifyingness. Now, he did it without even thinking. Myself and a few other brain bots who had been programmed to be carriers lifted the two of them up to the fake observatory, which Megamind had said earlier would be the grand stage of his greatest evil plan yet. Considering that he said that about every evil plan he got, we were all excited to see how this one would rank with the others.

56 and 238 had followed us, eager not to miss the party. Once the lift was in place, the three of us took our places above them, watching everything that played out.

It was at this point that Roxanne began to stir. From inside the bag which was covering her face, she began to make sounds of surprise and indignation, wriggling in Minion's grasp to try and get loose.

"She's awake." cried Megamind, excitedly, "Quickly, places."

Minion placed Roxanne in the chair at the center of the room, while Megamind scurried over to his leather chair (properly black, sinister and accessorized with spikes); he took a few moments to make himself presentable and just a little more terrifying. One of the brain bots, 14, had curiously come over to see what it was Daddy was doing. Megamind looked at him briefly, and then took the brain bot in his lap. Something he had seen in the old movies of classic villains had apparently convinced that he needed some sort of pet in his lap when he was confronting his helpless and terrified victims. However, in the face of any actual animals, we brain bots were as good as anything else.

"Was it a good idea to pick 14 as the lap bot?" asked 238, "He has a tendency to bite unexpectedly."

"It will just make it a better show." said 56.

"Besides, no good trying to warn him now. Be quiet, you two, the show is about to start." They both got the message and shut up.

Minion knew the signal, and withdrew the bag from Roxanne's head. Roxanne gasped for breath, a look of disgust evident on her face. Megamind turned around in his chair to face her, an evil smirk on his face, as he stroked 14's glass dome. "Miss Ritchi," he said, with evil smoothness, "we meet again."

Roxanne, for her part, was unphased. "Would it kill you to wash the bag?" She asked, in an exasperated tone, hardly the voice of a frightened captive.

Megamind seemed completely unmindful of this. "You can scream all you wish, Miss Ritchi. I'm afraid no one can hear you." He held one hand up to his ear, listening for Roxanne's screams. She just looked at him with an expression of skeptical amusement, and unsurprisingly, didn't so much as whimper. Megamind seemed utterly confused by this. "Why isn't she screaming?" He asked Minion, as if his robotic side-kick would have had the answer.

Since Minion was always trying to make everyone happy, he said to Miss Ritchi, rather politely, "Miss Ritchi, if you don't mind?"

"That is true." commented 56, "One little scream wouldn't hurt anything. And it would make Daddy a whole lot happier."

"I don't think Roxanne would want to even give the hint of satisfaction." I said.

Megamind apparently hadn't considered this option and so. "Like this." He said, "Ahhhh! But that's a poor lady's scream."

So enthused had Megamind been in his demonstration that he had forgotten about the brain bot in hip lap. 14, having been startled, suddenly saw Megamind's hand, wrapped in leather. Being one of those who preferred rubber and leather to regular metal tools and being rather random under the best of circumstances, it was inevitable what would be happening next.

CHOMP!

"AHHHHIIIIIIEEEGGHHHH!"

Whatever dignity Megamind had wanted to maintain kind of fell apart when 14 bit down on his hand. Megamind was suddenly struggling, jumping up and down in his chair and flailing about trying to get 14 off of his hand, and generally looking rather foolish all at the same time.

The three of us winced. "Boy, that's going to leave a mark." said 56.

"And earn 14 a few days of being off-line." said 238.

"Before Megamind forgives the entire incident and we'll all be one happy family again." I finished. "I'm so glad Megamind is our Master."

"Me too." agreed 56 and 238 together.

Roxanne apparently rather enjoyed the impromptu entertainment. "That's a little better." She dryly commented referring to Megamind's girlish scream a few seconds before. While Megamind was still struggling with trying to get the brain bot off his hand, she looked around her at the equipment which was surrounding the room. "Is there some kind of nerdy super villain website where you get Telsa Coils and blinky dials?"

Minion, ever the one to be helpful and make small talk effortlessly, said with a big grin, "Actually, most of it comes from an outlet store inâ€¦"

"Don't answer that!" said Megamind, warningly, the brain bot which was still hanging off of his arm apparently forgotten.

There was a moment of uncertain silence, before Minion whispered out the side of his mouth, "Romania."

238 looked at me. "I thought this stuff came from eBay?"

"No, that was the materiel for the Equestinator of Doom. But after that miserable failure, Master swore he would never get anything off eBay again."

Megamind was preoccupied with trying to get Minion to be quiet. "Don't! Stop!" he pushed his chair over to Roxanne and Minion (14 still clutched to his hand), getting himself between the woman and the robotic-gorilla-fish. "She's using her nosy reporter skills," said Megamind, in a secretive half-whisper, "On your weak-willed mind, to find out all our secrets."

Minion gasped in horror and clamped his hands across the front of his fish bowl. "We have secrets?" I asked, "Roxanne practically knows everything about what we do."

"147," said 56, "remember, brain bots lurking menacingly in the shadows don't give away the fact that our Master has weaknesses."

"Oh, so you admit that Master has weaknesses?" I challenged.

"You, two, zip it." admonished 238, "This is getting good."

Megamind scooted closer to Roxanne, and said in a low voice, almost seductive voice, as he circled around the back of her. "Such tricks, won't work on me."

Roxanne followed Megamind with her eyes, a teasing half smile playing at the corners of her mouth, as though she were trying to hide the fact that she was enjoying this. "Please talk slower."

"Temptress." Whispered Megamind.

56 couldn't help but observe, "Is it just me or is Roxanne blushing just a little?"

238 and I focused in on Roxanne's skin, and yes, we definitely were able to see a bit more color in cheeks, though it seemed to disappear the next instant, and she said with annoyance to Megamind, "What secrets? You're so predictable."

"Whoa, that's gotta hurt more than 14's hyper-steel jaws." Said 56.

"Yeah, we all know how much Master hates being called anything like predictable." I concurred.

"The probability is pretty good he's going to be doing something with a lot of fireworks now." Said 238, and for once neither 56 nor I would be arguing with his mathematical predictions.

238 was right. An expression almost of disbelief passed over Megamind's face. "Predictable?" he repeated, as if he couldn't believe what he had just heard. No doubt he was trying to comprehend the fact how anyone could think he, the greatest criminal mastermind of all time, was predictable. "Predictable?" he said once more, at a higher volume, and pushing back over to the counsel, he surged to his feet, and questioned, with dark grandness, "You call _this_ predictable?"

He pulled down a lever with a dramatic flourish. The floor around Roxanne's chair pulled back revealing a pit full of alligators, who were jumping and snapping around Roxanne menacingly.

"I can't remember," I said, as one alligator jumped out of the water right at Roxanne's feet, snapped once and then did a twirl or two before landing in the water, "is this their swan lake water ballet or the nutcracker?"

"Nutcracker, I think." Said 238, "The ones on the outside are going in concentric circles, while the ones inside are imitating the Dance of the Flowers."

"Wait, I thought the concentric circles happened in Dance of the Hours?"

"Uh, guys," said 56, "do we really want Megamind to find out that his menacing pet alligators are practicing water ballet in their spare time?"

"Well, this is the only time they get to perform in front of an audience besides us." I said, "And it's better than their synchronized swimming, which still needs some work."

Whilst we were debating the merits of alligators pursuing either water ballet or synchronized swimming in their spare time, Megamind kept trying to come with some way to frighten Roxanne, with everything from large, circular buzz saws whirling dangerously close to her face to spikes and rings of fire. Nothing fazed her; it all came out as either tacky, juvenile, or garish. She had been captured to many times by Megamind; she knew that the only danger she was in would be being getting bored while she waited for Metro Man to come and rescue her.

Finally, Megamind collapsed on the control panel, all of his inventions having been shut down in the face of a woman's harsh tongue, a far more dangerous weapon by far he would come to learn than anything he could devise. However, at that moment, Roxanne said, "The spider's new."

"Spider?" Megamind perked up when he heard this; he turned around and saw the spider which was hanging in front of Roxanne's face. Being a master of improvisation, he quickly said, "Ah, yes, the _speeider_ , even the smallest bite from arachnus deathicus, will instantly paralyze-"

He had made the mistake of coming a little too close to Roxanne in his attempt to be menacing. Roxanne coolly blew the spider into Megamind's face and it landed on his eye. Megamind immediately screamed and shouted, "Get it off!"

While Minion was scrambling trying to help his Master (and not really being of much help), the three of us shook our heads from above. While we were enjoying the entertainment, we were a little worried for our Daddy. "This is not one of his better days." I said.

"Yeah, he normally gets in a few better sallies than this." Observed 238.

Even 56, who always seemed to think that every plan Megamind ever had would work, had to concede that we were right. "Being bitten by 14 and a spider all in the same day probably isn't helping him keep up the persona." He said.

Though she was unaware of what we were thinking, Roxanne evidently agreed with us. She watched in exasperation as Megamind writhed in the floor, still screaming about the fact that the spider had bitten him and he was dying. "Give it up, Megamind. Your plans never work."

At the sound of her voice, Megamind's spider bite instantly healed, and he got to his feet. Beaming Roxanne an annoyed glare, he tried to put his cape back in order, and said, with what little dignity he was able to salvage out of the last few minutes, "Let's stop wasting time and call your boyfriend in tights, shall we?"

He had held up one hand to emphatically state his point, when 14 came down once again and bit him on the hand. The three of winced once more, both for our Master's physical pain and his humiliation. This was definitely not one of his better days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read and review. 
> 
> Next chapter: there is always a pattern to be followed in the battles between Megamind and Metro Man. One always wins, the other always loses. But, what happens when the unexpected happens, and the battle ends with victory for the villain?


End file.
